I'm so angry!
Did anyone see the wanker in today's (new look) 'Sunday Life' magazine in the article about 'ideal wives', by Lisa Pryor (who I love, by the way)? The article basically consults with three different blokes about what qualities they look for in a wife. Guys 2 and 3 seemed quite lovely. But Guy # 1? What an archaic moron.
Here are a few gems from Guy #1's (or Nicholas Atgemis's) mouth:
"In a small journal ... Nicholas Atgemis keeps a list. A list of the 28 things he seeks in a woman. From 'integrity', 'charm' and 'sophistication', to 'perspective', 'good skin' and 'enthusiasm'. Further down the list comes 'culinary skills', musical appreciation' and finally, 'heart'.
Look, he lost me at 'good skin'. But like I told my barista recently, I'm off the market babe, you don't want to crack onto someone with a husband and a 2 year old. I mean, a list with 28 items? Who is this guy kidding? No wonder he's single. Anyone with a list that long will never find someone that ticks every box. He's really missing out. Because I think relationships can be so great when you find someone that shakes things up a little, and doesn't meet every expectation you may have about a prospective partner.
I should also add that looking at the photo featured in the article? He really shouldn't get all picky because he's no oil painting. And he's wearing a bow tie. I'm sure it's meant to be ironic, but instead I think it looks like he wants to be a magician.
The article gets far worse though. Check this out:
"He has other thoughts on his ideal wife ... For a start, there is the matter of how she balances work and family. Atgemis is fine with the idea of a wife with a career, so long as she stays at home with the children for the first seven years or so; years he considers crucial to a child's development."
I'm without speech! I think it's very difficult to sustain a 'career' if you have to put it on hold for SEVEN YEARS. And that's only if you have one child. Imagine if you have a few? If those first seven years are so 'crucial', why the hell doesn't Atgemis stay home? How dare he dictate the plan his future wife has for juggling a career and children. Or how long she should stay at home with the children. He's so 1950s, it's scary. But as the Demtel man used to say - wait, there's still more:
"He cites the example of a woman he knows 'with a fabulous internet jewellery business she runs from home', which allows her to look after her children and maintain a career."
Gee, how thoughtful of Atgemis. So it's fine if you're his wife and want to work while raising children. But to do so, you must work at home ... WITH THE CHILDREN ABOUT. Jesus, it's hard enough to check a few blogs during the day with a single two year old around. I can't tell you how many times I have to stop, mid internet session, because E's busy trying to click the mouse and press buttons. How the hell does a woman with multiple children manage a business from home? Children don't just sit there if you tell them to and tanties are part of the territory.
Look, this guy has no kids. So I can't be too harsh about his unrealistic expectations about what it's really like at home with children. I mean, I have a single 2 year old and I find being at home with her some days really hard.
But what bugs me most about Atgemis though, is that he speaks of his future wife and women generally, as though they're commodities that men or husbands can 'own'. No wonder so many Gen Y-ers I speak to are off marriage - so much so that my marriage seems like a bit of a novelty sometimes. I'm a bit of a 30-year old lone soldier in a sea of de-factos.
Anyway. This last bit from the article had me floored people. Surely blokes don't think like this anymore?
"Reputation follows you around ... I want something (he's talking about a future partner here) a bit exotic, something noone else has got their hands on."
Look, if I were single and men like this were on offer, lesbianism would be looking AMAZING right now. Since when are women 'something' or for that matter, any type of 'thing'? Where are your manners, Mr Atgemis? And is it just me, or does he pretty much want a virgin? Hel-lo? On what planet does that matter? Sexual experimentation is a fantastic thing, so long as you protect yourself against STIs. Does he really want to make it even harder to find a mate?
There's more. But I can't stomach any more Nicholas Atgemis tonight.
Lisa Pryor has always sounded like a cool chick, and this article is no exception. I'm sure she wanted to deck this guy in the testicles. But while that's hardly professional, perhaps writing an article that makes this guy look like the absolute idiot he is, is sweeter revenge. After reading this article, no sane, single woman in their right mind would want to date this guy now.
It might be time to re-work that list, Nicholas Atgemis.
Sunday, 28 June 2009
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15 comments:
Oh my god, that is hilarious. I have been reading the quotes aloud to my partner who finds him equally amusing. We want to know what this guy does, that makes him so special that he deserves some rare tropical bird of paradise of a woman - a new species that he 'discovers' in the jungles of Papua New Guinea, untouched by human hands... He sounds similarly untouched, or maybe just touched in the head.
NJ, you took the words right out of my mouth...I read the article in similar disbelief.
Methinks he will end up a lonely old man.
E. euuuw.
Guess who's going to be a sad ol' bachelor fiddling with his bow tie in his 70s...
And what in the hell is good skin? That's just odd.
You ladies should really check out this guy's picture. Not cool at all. Good luck in the love Department, tiger!
And he runs a nightclub. That wouldn't exactly be my pick of the bunch professions in a prospective partner. I can see a lot of lonely nights.
And PPMJs, I am queen of sad and bad skin. It's inherited. I'm 30 and I still have acne. Thank goodness for clinique makeup. And concealer.
Poor guy, he has no idea.Soon he will realise what a lonely life he is embarking on.
As for the language classes, this is the one T is attending soon:
http://www.mandarinstars.com.au/
Will let you know how it goes, I'm really looking fwd to it, bit like you and the baby proms. More for mum than bub!
Hello, I did make those comments and I am sorry you feel so hurt by them. I would like to say that I did not suggest to Lisa that I wanted something 'exotic', that I did not write a list because I use it in a search for wemen. I was advised by my close girl friend to write it when I was having trouble in a relationship. Lisa Pryor also sowed the article around the idea of looking for 'perfection' which I never said I was looking for if you took the time to look at the quote below which talked about accepting that all sticks were bent. But I thank you for taking the time to try and humiliate me and I hope it brought some satisfaction to your life and gave you a greater purpose. Many thanks, Nicholas.
Nicholas, I was merely expressing a point of view to an article in a Sydney-wide newspaper. People comment on stories in the media - it's how it all works.
Maybe a list works for you. In my view, it simply limits so many possibilities - I think you should ditch it ... Go with the flow instead.
I think your views about women being at home for 7 years (or thereabouts) to raise children are really dated. Haven't we moved beyond the expectation that women get dumped with the children while men pursue their careers? Some women will want to take on a longer term stay at home parent role, and they'll find great joy in that. But not all women will. But essentially you can't tell a woman to do that. Where's the equity?
Parenting IS important. But if you choose to have kids, they're your responsibility too. These sorts of views about women and the world are seriously going to limit your options in finding a mate. Broaden your views a little. Women don't want to be 'told' what to do!
I think all you hemp-mums should open your eyes and see colour and humour for what it is. It is your kind of blandness that sucks the life out of life.
And I have no doubt that you have/ have had silly criteria for the perfect man (and spent your youth - obviously long gone - girly giggling at sex in the city, cleo mag et al).
Perhaps spend less time attacking Nicholas, and slink back to the unwashed lefties' corner of the uni quad where you will no doubt be more comfortable.
Women and men
Some commentary and a conclusion
echo- chic mummy
Make your partner a husband and then rejoin the discussion with the adults.
Amanda
Methinks methinks. Please….
Pink
Listen carefully - good skin is a real an absolute must. Olay is just the start for you. The Olay product has moved from chemists to supermarkets. Accordingly you should have now seen it. In 1999, it was decided to unify the brand under a global name. The Oil of Ulan and of course Ulay became Olay worldwide. The is except in German-speaking regions and Italy, where it remained Oil of Olaz. In the Netherlands of note, it was renamed just Olaz. Whether in Europe on your vacation or at an Aldi supermarket look to buy it.
Permanently 23
I agree you are the queen of sad and bad skin. It's inherited most likely and you are now part of a proud tradition. Let me guess though it always takes two to tango. Thank goodness for clinique makeup and concealer but unfortunately there is morning light.
Your last response reminds us all of an arsonist that starts a fire then runs to join the community in a feeble attempt to put in out. Keep smiling as you dollop more petrol on..
stepford dreams
More for mum than bub! Always be careful of those baby and child proms. You know they can get out of hand with all that disgusting makeup and fancy dresses with bows and ribbon etc that the ………………mothers wear.
Conclusion
The world needs more men like Atgemis. He is a man for all seasons and he is adored by women the world over. He does love skin.
Women will continue to do only what they do and that is to love men with all their faults whether their dad, brother, boyfriend, husband or child.
The two Mr Anonymous's are obviously star pupils of the Nicholas Atgemis School of Misogyny.
Really, girls lets face it, Mr Atgemis is really a fantasist. He probably has never had a girlfriend, is overweight with bad skin ( or worse- very hairy) , and my guess a failed author himself. We should all be the bigger people and have pity on him for the sad little bow-tie wearing man that he is.
And anonymous 2- no self respecting woman wears oil of ulan, you cheap wanker. Splurge and buy your wife a decent moisturiser.
My oh my - what carnage! Over what?
Enough. Please. This issue is now resolved.
Thanks. Nick.
I was horrified by this article. I hate when fat, balding men have the audacity to judge women so harshly and act as though they only deserves some airbrushed, pristine women. The worst part is I know so many younger guys (23/24/25) who are heading in exactly his direction. He seems like the kind of guy who would expect sex and a perfect form body three days after his wife (if he could find one to fit the bill) gave birth. Ugh. The article honestly made my blood boil.
I just noticed that Nicholas commented here. Nicholas: I don't see how the outline you set out for what your are looking for in a wife weren't guidelines for perfection. Instead of cyring about this blog post humiliating you, think of all the women you humiliate by your definition of them as being unworthy of marriage to you based on something as shallow as how good their skin is.
I find this terribly amusing as Nicholas doesn't really work. He just lives off his daddy's charity!
Your a real connoisseur Nick. What a pig!
Tool.
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